Creatively Bereft

Currently having trouble expressing myself creatively.

I am Studying alone. I have a Uni-mode On/Off button over which it seems I have little control-- Practically the only things I write now are essays and notes for upcoming essays. My guitar, pencils, charcoals and jewellery-making tools lie gathering dust. My camera rarely sees daylight any more -- the recent photography trip was a total bust -- and I'm feeling despondent.

I try to incorporate a mixture of creative and functional activities into my day, in order to provide the requisite variety that I know I need to keep sane and reasonably sanguine. However, the reasons for doing so seem to appear less convincing as I get older and stupider and more depressed... It all begins to look like I'm devising more elaborate ways of distracting myself.

I often get prolonged blank moments that worry me and general thoughtlessness for which I chastise myself, perhaps pointlessly. I also find myself withdrawing from life in general.

  You know, when I started this post I was pretty sure it was going to go somewhere... once I'd worked up some steam perhaps...seems all I can muster today are self-absorbed maudlin ramblings. Perhaps tomorrow lightning will strike my poor addled brain.